Knitting
by MrsEm
Summary: Wanting to celebrate their friend's Birthday meant having to request a shift change from Commander Spock instigating a series of events that leads to a small team realising their very own personal, private goals. James T Kirk being a nosey bastard and not being able to pass up on a piece of cake adds another level of new experiences for one particular member of the team.
1. Chapter 1

"What me? Why? No!" Adèle looked at the three earnest faces in front of her in horror.

"Come on, you're the only one who can. You can't expect any of us to do it?!" Ishaq replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"Of course you can, why not? Colin could do it." Adèle pointed to the very pale looking Colin.

"Not a chance, the man scares the ever loving daylights out of me." He answered, throwing his hands up in the air and walking back to his station. Adèle rolled her eyes and focussed on Barbara.

"What about you?" She asked hopefully.

"Adèle, if you really don't want to do it I will but I think it would be better coming from you." Adèle smiled sweetly at Barbara, she was a very kind woman but stuttered over every other word and suffered from severe anxiety. There was no way Adèle could let her do it instead of her.

"No Barbara, thank you. I'll do it, I'll ask." Adèle went back to her station and sat down, twiddling the stylus in her fingers thoughtfully. She could do this, she could. Couldn't she?

* * *

Later that day Adèle tentatively made her way to the Bridge, a place she had never stepped foot in before. Adèle Majette was a Mathematical Modeller, along with her three colleagues they worked mainly on their own and very much remained out of sight and out of mind. Reporting directly to Commander Spock they had very little interaction with anybody else. So when Colin mentioned it was Ishaq's Birthday in a week's time and perhaps they should have a small party, the group of Doctors were initially excited but then filled with dread knowing that they would have to ask Commander Spock for a shift pattern change so that they could all be together. It very nearly stopped them from doing anything but Barbara, being the oldest one in the group didn't want, and couldn't let another Birthday go by without doing something.

She kept her head down as she walked along the corridor and then hesitantly pressed the control for the Bridge, as the doors swished open the breath caught in her throat. She felt like an imposter, as if she shouldn't have been there. All the other Crew and Officers seemed to walk around so confidently, laughing and smiling with their friends. Since boarding the Enterprise she had gone from her quarters to her place of work and back again. Thankfully nobody looked up as she stepped over the threshold. She spotted Commander Spock and began to walk over to him, stopping just before his station she started to question if the whole thing was just one big mistake. As she was about to turn round and leave Spock looked up and noticed her.

"Doctor Majette?" Adèle swallowed the lump in her throat and smiled warily.

"Commander Spock." That's as far as she got, her brain had shut down and she couldn't think of another word to say.

* * *

The unfamiliar voice had caught Kirk's attention, turning in his chair he spotted the woman in question. He'd never seen her before, her face wasn't anything extraordinary or significant, and yet, he felt somehow mysteriously drawn to her serious and silent features. He couldn't help but notice her luminous complexion and lack of makeup, along with her neat as a new pin haircut. He supposed many would consider her homely, but he found her awe-striking. As she stood in front of Spock her eyes stayed locked to the ground, Kirk concluded that she must have been painfully shy. He was just about to turn back around when he noticed that neither Spock nor the woman were speaking and he knew enough of Spock's lack of empathy to know that he wasn't going to make it easy for the woman, as the seconds moved on he could see that she was growing ever more uncomfortable. Standing slowly, he began to make his way over.

"Can I help?" He said just before he came to a stop, he saw that she jumped slightly at his words and he thought maybe he'd made a mistake or should have cleared his throat or something so that she knew he was heading her way. He watched as she quickly looked at him but averted her gaze to the floor almost immediately.

"I um, I need to speak to Commander Spock." Her voice was quiet but strong. "Captain." She added a second later which made him smile.

"I don't think we've ever met…" He glanced quickly at her sleeves, "Lieutenant…?" Kirk held out his hand towards her.

"Doctor." Adèle corrected, not really sure why she had felt the need? Letting her eyes travel up to the Captain's face once more and then seeing that his hand was outstretched, she thrust hers forward also and shook the man's hand so fiercely that Adèle saw him wince.

"Doctor Majette…" Spock informed Kirk, who nodded interestedly, "Is a Mathematical Modeller."

"That sounds very much like you're probably the most intelligent person on this Bridge Doc, am I right?" Kirk smiled warmly at her, he watched her blush and then shake her head.

"Not at all Captain, I carry out dynamical systems, statistical models, differential equations… or sometimes they can overlap, with any given model involving a variety of abstract structures…" Adèle clamped her mouth shut, realising that she was rambling. As far as Kirk was concerned he found it utterly charming.

"I stand by my statement Doctor Majette." Adèle broke into the smallest of smiles.

"Thank you Captain."

"How can I be of assistance Doctor Majette?" Spock returned to the business at hand and Adèle was happy to.

"I um… I was wondering if perhaps we can reorganise the shift pattern in the Computational Dynamics team Sir?" Adèle asked nervously.

"For what reason Doctor?" Spock asked as Kirk winced at the Vulcan's abrasiveness.

"It's Doctor Hiza's Birthday Sir…" Kirk watched as Adèle visibly blanched at her own words. "My apologies Commander, I should never have bothered you with this. Please forget that I mentioned it, my apologies…" She quickly turned on her heel not before glancing embarrassingly at Kirk.

"Doctor Majette wait!" Kirk called out after her. "Don't apologise, I'm sure Mister Spock has no issue with you arranging a party for a colleague, do you Spock?" Kirk turned his attention to his First Officer, pleading silently that he didn't eradicate the last remaining confidence in the shaking woman beside him.

"I see no problem Captain, Doctor Majette you may alter your shift patterns." Spock answered.

"Thank you Sir." Adèle allowed a smile to appear on her face.

"There you have it!" Kirk clapped his hands together.

"Thank you Captain." Adèle almost bowed.

"Don't mention it, perhaps I'll pop by for a piece of cake?" He was joking of course but as soon as he saw the horrified look appear on her face he regretted his words.

"It would be um… our pleasure Captain Sir." Adèle spluttered before turning quickly and all but running from the Bridge.

"She's incredibly shy isn't she Spock?" Kirk commented absent minded after Adèle had disappeared from sight.

"Not all humans are blessed with you confidence Captain." Spock replied.

"Why Spock, if I didn't know better I would have thought you were being sarcastic!"

* * *

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to Ishaq! Happy Birthday to you!" The four friends and colleagues smiled and clapped as Ishaq stood in front of the small cake Adèle had managed to get her hands on from the canteen. In fact Ishaq's Birthday had taken Adèle to places on the ship she had never been before. The canteen for the cake, the Quartermaster for bunting and the recreation room for a bottle of Rum (which wasn't her first choice but she'd whispered it so quietly to the Barman that when he had asked her to repeat herself she refused and just took the bottle he offered her).

She was also not in her uniform, wearing the only dress she owned. A high neck, shin length black dress her Mother had bought her to wear to her Father's funeral. She hadn't put her hair in a French pleat either, letting it fall down her back and using two pins just above her ears to keep it out of her eyes. The pins had been a present from her Fiancé; she had found them tucked away on the high shelf in his closet when she had been clearing out his apartment after the attack in San Francisco. The note attached read 'Happy Birthday My Love', her birthday being three days after he'd died. When she had been looking in the mirror in her quarters she had realised it was how she used to wear it when she was at school, perhaps a little young looking but she really had no idea about those things.

Adèle allowed herself to smile though, watching her friends relax and laugh was lovely to see. They were all so serious all the time, work occupying their every thought. The field that they specialised in nearly almost attracted those on the autistic spectrum, socialising was difficult for most, relationships likewise. It was immensely important to all four of them on a personal level and for very different private reasons that they were having a party and putting themselves outside of their comfort zone.

Adèle sipped at the Rum in her cup, it wasn't as awful as she had imagined. She watched, smiling widely as Colin showed off his dance moves in the middle of the room. Barbara and Ishaq cheered him on as they both had their second piece of cake. Adèle turned round when she heard the door swoosh open and froze in utter fear as she watched Kirk walk through the door and towards her.

"Doctor Majette, good evening." Kirk came to stand next to her, smiling warmly.

"Good evening Captain." Adèle managed, looking to her cup.

"I hope you don't mind, I can't pass up the opportunity for Birthday cake!" He watched as she peered into her cup, her lips were upturned slightly, the smallest of smiles. Her features looked softer with her hair down and he watched in rapture her thick eyelashes fluttering rapidly.

"I'll go get you some." Adèle answered, walking quickly away to the small table. Barbara and Ishaq had watched Kirk come in and stand by Adèle, they'd both silently watched as the Captain had spoken sweetly to Adèle and the Doctor hadn't even dared look at him once.

"Are you going to go over?" Barbara asked Ishaq.

"Of course not, you?" Barbara shook her head no. Colin was still dancing, completely oblivious to the goings on around him, it was one of the few things he enjoyed doing, losing all anxiety when the music played and letting himself go to the rhythm.

Adèle cut the cake and placed it on the small plate, walking back over to Kirk she quickly looked at his face and saw that he was watching her. She was surprised that it didn't make her feel as uncomfortable as she thought it would, making eye contact that is. She wordlessly handed the cake to Kirk.

"Thank you, I didn't mean for you to go get me a piece! I'm more than happy to help myself." Taking the cake from her he observed the small nod and smile she gave him and then went back to starring into her cup or the floor or the wall. Eating a forkful of sticky icing and sponge he hummed in appreciation at the sweetness. "This is a good Birthday cake! Have you had a piece?" He asked, Adèle simply shook her head. "You should, it's delicious." Without a word Adèle walked back over to the table and cut herself a piece, all the while Kirk looking on in bewilderment. When she was stood by him again he laughed. "Doctor Majette, that wasn't an order! You didn't have to go get a piece if you didn't want any." He hoped he hadn't made her feel too uncomfortable, he was amazed however when for the first time Adèle laughed and smiled brightly.

"I know Captain, I wanted some, and your piece looked good." She risked looking at him again and found that he had a kind face, one that didn't scare her. She dared herself to look into his eyes for as long as possible.

"What are you drinking?" He asked, eyeing the liquid suspiciously. Alcohol was only to be consumed in the rec room or in private quarters but Adèle thought better of it than to lie to her Captain.

"Rum, would you like some?" She asked, feeling bold.

"No" Adèle thought that she was about to be reprimanded but then Kirk added, "I can get it, I should say hello to your friends anyway right?!" Kirk gestured for her to lead the way, Adèle was suddenly nervous. She was an introvert, in most cases she chose not to socialise but in the case of Colin, Ishaq and Barbara they simply couldn't socialise. She led Kirk to Ishaq and Barbara first who both looked like rabbits in headlights.

"Captain, this is Doctor Barbara Honner and Doctor Ishaq Hiza." Kirk knew better than to offer his hand to them so nodded politely.

"Happy Birthday Doctor Hiza, great party." At the Captain's words Ishaq beamed. A silence fell between the four of them. "Well, it was nice meeting you, keep up the good work, Commander Spock tells me you're doing a sterling job." Kirk looked to Adèle who took the cue to move on. As she was pouring Kirk a drink he watched Colin continue to dance with unabashed fervour. "Perhaps I should speak to Doctor Nabel when he's not so busy?" Adèle heard the amusement in his voice and smiled herself.

"That may well be a good idea Sir." She remarked, handing Kirk the drink.

"Cheers." Adèle brought her cup up to his in a toast. "Do you like working on board the Enterprise?" Kirk asked.

"Yes very much thank you."

"Have you always been a…?"

"Mathematical Modeller…"

"Yes… one of those?"

"Yes." Adèle took another sip of her drink and tried not to cough when the harshness of the Rum caught at the back of her throat. "Have you always been a Captain?" As soon as the question left her mouth Adèle wanted the floor to open up and swallow her whole, scrunching up her face in embarrassment she reverted back to staring into her cup, not wanting to look at him and see his reaction to her stupidity. Kirk however, simply laughed, finding her question funny. This went a little way to making Adèle feel better but still, she could feel her cheeks on fire.

"You're very funny Doctor Majette." Kirk commented, really enjoying the woman's company, there was a lot more to her than he initially thought. He had really only gone there to be polite, not liking the fact that there was a whole team working on his ship that he had never met. And he had to be honest; he had wanted to see Doctor Majette again.

"Me? No, I'm not funny Captain." Adèle shook her head severely, they fell into another silence again but Kirk didn't feel uncomfortable, enjoying Adèle's company and watching Colin doing the worm across the floor.

"Do you have any hobbies Doctor Majette?" He asked, trying to make small talk.

"I knit."

"Knit?"

"Scarfs, jumpers?" Adèle explained, watching his expressions carefully.

"Wow, do you give them as gifts?" Even Kirk knew it was a ridiculous question, he just didn't' Know where to go with the conversation.

"No." Adèle answered abruptly.

"You're not wearing one tonight, you have a beautiful dress on." Kirk complimented, he really did think she looked lovely, very understated and nothing like the women he normally pursued. Not that he was pursuing Adèle Majette, he shook his head slightly to clear his thoughts. Adèle didn't know what to say, looking down at herself she pursed her lips in thought. "Well, I better get going, thank you for the cake and the drink." Kirk paused momentarily, watching Adèle's eyes dance with amusement.

"You're welcome Captain, thank you for coming." Adèle looked to Barbara and Ishaq who hadn't moved from their spot and had clearly spent the entire time staring at them, Colin was still dancing.

"Thanks guys! Happy Birthday Doc!" Kirk shouted, waving his arm in the air. Colin snapped out of his own world and gaped in shock at the Captain. "Nice moves man!" Kirk shouted, "Thanks again Doctor Majette, see you around." Adèle watched him leave and then turned back to her friends.

"Who was that?" Colin said, Adèle could only stare at him.

* * *

 **Six Months Later**

"Why are we here?" Colin asked Adèle angrily.

"Because it's the Captain's Birthday and it would be rude not to attend." Adèle replied quietly. "You'll be fine, just stand here." Adèle had made sure they were stood in a quiet area of the function room and away from the buffet and small band playing given Colin's Misophonia. The pair watched people greet one another and pull each other into big hugs. Others were laughing and dancing, eating food and sharing stories. Adèle saw Kirk on the other side of the room, smiling and laughing with people. She wasn't feeling as overwhelmed as she had anticipated, in fact a small part of her was enjoying the atmosphere and she didn't think she would have minded too much if somebody was to walk over and make small talk. She kept checking on Colin who had put in his earplugs.

"Doctor Majette?" Turning she saw that Kirk was stood in front of her, beaming widely. Adèle gave him a small smile and quietly wished him a Happy Birthday.

"Thank you, it's good to see you. How are you Doctor Nabel?" Kirk turned his attention to Colin, when he didn't even acknowledge Kirk's presence never mind answer his question Kirk looked back at Adèle confused.

"He's wearing his earbuds." Adèle explained, Kirk looked at her blankly.

"Of course." He finally answered. "You look nice Doctor." Adèle looked down at her black dress, the same black dress she had worn for Ishaq's Birthday. She lifted her hand and presented the small present to Kirk. She watched his look of surprise and then the smile he gave her made her legs feel weak.

"You brought me a gift? You really didn't need to Doctor." Kirk said as he took the paper package from her hands.

"It's not… it's not special, just a small gesture Captain." Adèle stumbled over her words.

"Please, it's my Birthday, call me Jim. Besides, you've brought me a gift, that means we're friends yes?!" Adèle didn't know what to say, he was so nice towards her and even though he was confident and chatty she didn't feel like she wanted to run away from him. Kirk unwrapped the present, revealing the long navy scarf.

"You knitted this for me?" Kirk asked, sounding genuinely touched. Adèle nodded silently. "You said you didn't give them as gifts? Thank you Doctor Majette."

"Adèle." She stole a glance but didn't look away from him, his blue eyes making her feel safe.

"Really, thank you Adèle, I think this is one of the kindest gifts I've ever received." Kirk hesitated but then changed his mind and leant towards Adèle, placing a soft kiss on her cheek. As he pulled away he heard her sharp intake of breath at him being so close. He didn't pull all the way back though, and looking into her eyes saw something that he couldn't quite make out.

"JIM!" The sound of someone shouting his name pulled them both out of their contemplation. Out of pure nervousness they both laughed.

"I guess I should get back to my party." Kirk said apologetically.

"Of course, I promised Colin we would only stay thirty minutes." Adèle responded, still smiling and trying desperately to burn into her memory the feel of Kirk's lips on her cheek.

"Thank you again for the scarf." Kirk turned away but immediately spun on his heel and walked back towards Adèle. "Do you want to have a drink with me sometime, a coffee?" Kirk asked, knowing he was taking a huge risk and maybe ensuring that Adèle Majette never spoke to him again for the rest of his life.

"Yes." Adèle whispered, Kirk grinned in response.

"Tomorrow?"

"Yes." Adèle felt like she was going to throw up.

"Thirteen hundred?"

"Yes." Her chest was heaving up and down with anxiety.

"Why Doctor Majette, you're a difficult woman to please!" Adèle burst out into laughter, the first time he'd ever heard her truly laugh which only made Kirk want tomorrow, thirteen hundred hours to come around as fast as possible. "It's a date."

* * *

 ** _Thanks for reading :-) XOXO LLAP_**


	2. Chapter 2

Kirk tapped his fingers against the table; Spock had been distilling the virtues of interplanetary mediation techniques for the last hour. He looked at the time on the display behind the Vulcan's head, twelve forty five.

"Great Mister Spock, fantastic!" He interrupted, earning a raise of the eyebrow from his First Officer and a quizzical look from Uhura.

"I had not finished Captain?" Kirk looked at the man and the faces of his Bridge crew sat around the table.

"I'm sure we all get the gist." He laughed nervously and smiled politely before standing and pulling at his uniform, "Thank you Mister Spock, dismissed." He strode from the room with purpose but only made it halfway to the turbolift before he heard his Navigator call after him. He struggled not to roll his eyes before turning and asking the Ensign what he wanted.

"Kaptin, we will be in the wicinity of the supernova in nine hours." Kirk watched Chekov tip his weight from one foot to the other; the young Ensign had so much energy.

"Very good Ensign, thank you for letting me know." Kirk gave him a curt nod and turned on his heel.

"Kaptin!" Chekov called back to him, Kirk stopped once more and took a deep breath.

"Yes Ensign?" He asked tight lipped.

"What distance do you want us to observe from Kaptin?" The young Russian was looking at him expectantly.

"I trust you'll make the correct decision Ensign Chekov." Kirk smiled tightly and hesitantly turned, hoping the conversation was over.

"I believe we should observe from eleven billion kilometres…" Kirk heard him shout after him, turning in the turbolift he nodded at Chekov.

"Sounds great!" He replied as the door closed.

* * *

As he rode the turbolift down he clenched and unclenched his hands.

"Computer, what's the time?" He asked nervously.

" _The time is thirteen hundred and zero seven hours._ " Kirk swore.

Stepping out he all but sprinted down the corridor, as he rounded the corner he spotted her immediately stood outside the main entrance to the mess. Coming to a complete stop he took a deep breath and steeled himself, as he set off walking again ( _now with his typical swagger_ ) he hoped it wasn't too obvious he was out of breath.

His heart sank however when he watched her check her watch under her sleeve and hesitantly begin to walk away, her head dejectedly pointing to the floor.

"Doctor Majette!" He shouted gaining her attention; he cantered up to her and plastered an apologetic smile on his face. "Doctor Majette I am so sorry, I got caught up." He watched as she blushed, stealing a glance at him and then her focus was back on the ground.

"No apology necessary Captain, I understand." Kirk could tell she didn't believe him, that or she doubted him. He'd upset her, there had been several minutes where she had wondered whether or not she had been stood up and that troubled him. He didn't want to presume that she still wanted to sit and have a coffee so asked if she still had the time to do so. "Yes Captain, of course." She nodded quietly and gave him a small smile.

He gestured for her to lead the way and as they walked through the crowded mess hall he noticed that not one person said hello to her. In contrast he acknowledged the nods and ' _hellos_ ' from several Crewman and Officers as they passed by.

"There's a spare one over there, you sit and I'll get the coffee. How do you take it?" He watched as she slid into the seat and looked at him uncertainly, she answered but he didn't hear her. "Pardon?" He leant closer.

"Just with milk please." He nodded warmly and set back off, while he stood in front of the replicators he peered back over seeing that Adéle was watching the crowd around her, her hands clenched together under the table. Grabbing the two cups he hastily made his way back, not wanting to leave her on her own for too long.

"There you go, one white coffee." He took his seat opposite her and smiled widely. "I really am sorry for being late Doctor Majette, Mister Spock was enthusing upon me his great knowledge and well, as always, it's difficult to… interject when he's in full swing." He grimaced comically and was happy to see that a small smile appeared on her lips in response.

"Really Captain, no need to apologise." This time he believed her.

"So, how has your day been so far?" Her ice blue eyes were still striking to him and he allowed himself the time to look over her appearance. His first impression had been correct, her features still struck him as serious but there was a softness around the eyes he hadn't noticed before. When he had seen her at his Birthday party he'd noticed that she had kept a very close eye on Colin Nabel, she clearly cared for her team members and guided them through social situations even when she herself seemingly found them difficult to navigate or perhaps preferred to avoid at all costs.

"Very good Captain, we've been carrying out the mathematical modelling of the supernova explosion." He saw her face light up in excitement as she spoke, it was infectious and he found himself smiling back.

"I take it you enjoy your work?!" He asked, already knowing the answer. Adéle nodded shyly.

"Very much." She answered before taking a sip of her coffee.

"Well go on then, tell me Doctor Majette." Kirk watched her confused expression.

"Pardon me Captain?" She asked.

"How do you ' _mathematically model_ ' a supernova?" Kirk asked bemused, he watched Adéle shake her head and look to the table.

"I'm sure you don't want to hear…" He interrupted her before she could make her excuses.

"Please tell me, I really am interested." She looked at him for a moment, he could tell she was trying to work out whether or not he was making fun of her. Clearing her throat she brought her hands up from under the table and rested them around her cup.

"Essentially, a two-dimensional model of a supernova explosion is developed, with emphasis on the role of rotation in the thermonuclear explosion process. Attention is given to a star with a carbon-oxygen core, which is transformed into a nickel core as a result of nuclear reaction." He'd never seen her use her hands when speaking before, but it was clear to Kirk that she was happiest and at her most comfortable when she was discussing her work, which was clearly also her passion. "In this case Captain, the development of thermal instability leads to the generation of a detonation wave propagating to the periphery of the star." She shrugged her shoulders as she finished talking, as if she'd just explained to him how to boil an egg.

"Is rapid rotation found to produce a strong asymmetry of the hydrodynamic process of the explosion Doctor Majette?" He asked watching her choke on her coffee in response to his question.

"Umm, why yes Captain!" She answered, clearly surprised. Kirk was happy with himself, he always enjoyed surprising people. Adéle Majette had obviously built up a preconceived idea of who he was, which was only natural. He had of her.

"Oh, I nearly forgot to tell you, I owe you a thank you." Kirk watched Adéle's eye's dance, she was becoming more comfortable, her hands hadn't moved from holding her coffee cup but her shoulders had relaxed somewhat and she was looking at him more often than not.

"For what Captain?" She asked him.

"For the scarf, Doctor McCoy and I visited an ice planet recently. That scarf was the only thing that kept me from losing the tip of my nose to frostbite!" Kirk laughed and Adéle laughed along with him, showing him a perfect set of pearly whites.

"Oh, well you're welcome! I'm glad I saved your nose!" It was Kirk's turn to beam, it was the closest she'd come to telling a joke.

"Have you knitted anything else since?" He asked, enjoying the easy way in which they talked.

"A jumper, but I don't know what happened? One of the sleeves is longer than the other!" She gave him a comical look and he found himself laughing gently. They settled into a comfortable silence and Kirk watched as Adéle finished her coffee, setting the cup down on the saucer carefully and rotating the handle to a ninety degree angle and then placing the teaspoon behind, the handle placed to the right at the same angle.

"I best be going Captain, thank you for the coffee." She smiled bashfully at him and began to get up.

"Of course, I enjoyed our chat." He inwardly cringed at his words, ' _I enjoyed our chat._ '?! What was he saying? Adéle didn't seem to notice because she agreed with him and thanked him again. "Are you headed back to work?" He asked.

"Yes Sir, we should be approaching the supernova soon." Standing Kirk noticed that her eyes hastily surveyed the room, now that she was standing he could see that her nervousness had returned, as if she was on display and felt like all eyes were on her.

"Will you be watching?" He asked, trying to distract her. Her eyes turned back to him and he couldn't help but stare into the two icy pools threatening to drown him if swam down too far.

"Yes Sir, we have a display screen…"

"Oh that's no good! You should come to the Bridge." He suggested enthusiastically.

"No!" Adéle blurted out which took him aback, he watched her take a calming breath and then, as if rebooting herself, began again. "No, thank you Captain. That's very kind but I'll be running key analysis and…my colleagues will need me to…" She seemed to lose herself in her own explanation.

"I understand, well the offer stands if you change your mind. I guarantee there's no better view on this ship." She smiled tightly at him in response. "Well, I'll see you soon Doctor Majette." He watched her nod and leave, he highly doubted that she had enjoyed herself, he actually wasn't sure if he was being honest. He could usually win anybody over with his carefree nature and easy conversation style but Adéle Majette was a different kettle of fish. Kirk found himself wanting to talk with her more, it wasn't a challenge as such, he genuinely found her interesting and there was still something enigmatic about her that he was drawn to. He had enjoyed the calmness, the lack of ego and competition, the lack of game play. She caught his focus again when she had stopped walking and turned on her heel, coming back on herself and towards him.

"Doctor Majette?" He began but he could see that she was nervous, wringing her hands together and looking to the floor.

"I'd like to take you up on your offer Captain, of watching the supernova from the Bridge? If it's still alright?" Kirk laughed, it reminded him of a teenager asking if they could take their parents' car out for a drive.

"Of course it's alright Doctor, it'll be my pleasure." It was his turn to feel nervous.

* * *

"So, what am I looking at Doctor?" Adéle was under no illusion that Kirk knew exactly what he was looking at but appreciated the fact that he was obviously already aware that she was at her most comfortable when talking shop.

"A supernova is a powerful explosion that typically occurs upon the death of a massive star, as is the case here Captain. When a massive star runs out of nuclear fuel, the star has no counteractive force against its own gravity and collapses." He was nodding along as she spoke, occasionally looking her way and urging her to continue. "The resulting shock wave blows the outer layers of the star into space, possibly leaving a core that has become either a neutron star or a black hole, depending on the remaining mass."

"See, I told you that you were the most intelligent person stood on this Bridge." He whispered to her and when he winked conspiratorially Adéle felt her stomach fill with butterflies. She cleared her throat and looked to the ground, suddenly feeling very self-conscious.

"The resulting subspace shock waves could collapse a warp field." She added on.

"I take it that's why Mister Spock kept telling me not to get too close!" Kirk laughed.

"Yes Captain, they emit an electrical magnetic pulse." Adéle agreed quietly, she peered around the Bridge, the pair were stood at the back and to one side, Kirk knowing that she wouldn't feel comfortable being front and centre. "Thank you again Captain, for letting me watch it from here." She whispered to him.

"Doctor, please don't thank me again, that's what friends are for right? And call me Jim." Adéle stared at him, mouth slightly open. Friends? She didn't have friends, she didn't 'do' friends? Well that wasn't entirely true, she was friends with her colleagues but given the fact that nine times out of ten she was making sure that Colin couldn't hear Ishaq eating and reading aloud Barbara's reports she wondered if perhaps she fitted the role of custodian more than friend? She regretted her own train of thought, it was mean and they didn't deserve it. She suddenly felt bad for abandoning them and going to the Bridge.

"I should be getting back." She stated hastily.

"What? No! It hasn't finished yet." Kirk protested, Adéle peered up at him, he seemed genuinely disappointed.

"Alright." She looked back at the large viewing screen, it was really was remarkable. She lost herself in that moment, staring at the star as it hollowed in on itself and then shattered, sending a million shards into the space that surrounded it. She'd watched it play out over a hundred times on the model but seeing it with her own eyes was something she would never forget. She was faintly aware of Officers from each station reporting their findings and she'd realised that Kirk had left her side and was now speaking with Commander Spock. Suddenly feeling very panicky and exposed she watched him for a moment, begging him silently to look up and see that she wanted him back by her side. When he didn't she left, not knowing what else to do.

* * *

"Where have you been?" As soon as Adéle had walked back into her office she had been confronted by all three of them.

"With Captain Kirk." She answered sheepishly, going to her station and running her hands over her hair.

"Why?" Ishaq asked.

"I err… well…" She didn't know what to say as she turned back to look at them.

"We didn't know where you were?" Colin looked at her despondently.

"I'm sorry." Adéle answered, not knowing what else to say, Barbara came to her side and stroked her arm kindly.

"Don't worry Adéle, they were fine. You know what they're like." The woman smiled at her, Adéle could tell she was trying to soothe her.

"Thank you Barbara." She whispered back, glancing guiltily at the two men still looking angrily at her.

They left her alone for the rest of her shift, she found herself becoming increasingly upset, for the rest of the day she sat at her station working on one thing or another but by the end of the day as she walked back to her quarters she could feel the tears threatening to fall. She'd left her friends in their office when they had needed her and she'd left Kirk on the Bridge without saying goodbye, he was her friend also, right? Running the last metre or two she quickly closed the door behind her and took three deep breaths, the ragged gasp that escaped before she let the tears fall caught in her throat and burned.

* * *

Adéle focussed on her work for the next two weeks, there was no cups of coffee or going to the Bridge. There were no Birthday parties, she sat and had her lunch at her station and made sure Colin had his earplugs in at all times. Barbara would come and check on her from time to time, commenting that she was even quieter than usual. Adéle assured her everything was alright.

Colin and Ishaq had received a good dressing down from Barbara after Adéle had come back to the office and then left upset, the older woman telling the two men that they had behaved selfishly. Ishaq had shown some remorse, Colin less so, Barbara hadn't really expected anything more. They were difficult characters at times but it couldn't be helped, including herself really.

"Have a good evening guys." Adéle waved as she left the office, making her way quickly through the corridors she could now make it all the way to her quarters without looking up.

"Doctor Majette!" Her spine stiffened immediately, she recognised his voice. In a split second she decided to pretend she hadn't heard him and to carry on walking. "Doctor Majette!" She stopped this time, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Turning she looked up to see Kirk heading towards her, looking to ground again she couldn't bring herself to look at him.

"Captain?" She whispered.

"Doctor Majette, how are you?" Kirk stood watching her, she didn't seem herself to him. Her shoulders were slumped and she hadn't looked at him once. When she had been on the Bridge watching the supernova he had seen the excitement, the passion in her eyes. He'd seen when they had had coffee together that she could smile and make a joke. So he had absolutely kicked himself when he had gone to speak to Mister Spock, leaving her alone and then realising that she had left. He knew he'd made a mistake, she wouldn't have felt comfortable standing there on her own, he felt like an idiot, he'd let her down.

"Fine Captain." Adéle answered.

"I wanted to…" He was about to apologise for leaving her alone on the Bridge but changed his mind. "I wanted to ask if you wanted to get a coffee with me? Again?" He saw the tiniest flicker of a smile on her lips and for a second he was happy too but as quickly as it appeared it disappeared and was replaced with a solemn look and the shake of her head.

"No thank you Captain, I can't." She whispered back.

"Why?" The question came out before he realised what he'd said, the question caught Adéle off guard also. Looking up at him she realised that she'd hurt his feelings, again. She fumbled over her words, not really knowing what to say. She mentioned being busy with work, having to help her colleagues, anything really that he may have taken as an excuse. "Doctor Majette." He interrupted but Adéle carried on rambling. "Adéle!" That stopped her talking, looking up at him she closed her mouth, waiting for him to just go away. "What's wrong?" He asked. Looking down she shook her head, how could she explain that what was happening was exactly what she had tried to avoid her entire life. "Adéle, we're friends right? Tell me what's wrong." His face was soft and understanding, she watched as his hand reached out and softly grasped her elbow, giving it a squeeze.

"I'm sorry Captain, you've been very kind but… I'm not good at this. I don't like this." She finally admitted the truth.

"Don't like what?" he asked.

"I'm not good at…" Again, she struggled to find the right words. Kirk seemed to realise that he was making the situation worse because he took a step back and removed his hand from her elbow.

"It's alright, I understand. But listen to me, you're a good person and you're a good friend. I pushed it, I wasn't sympathetic enough to your…" She watched as he thought of the right word. "…to what you're comfortable with." Adéle couldn't say anything, her throat had tightened up. "The offer of a cup of coffee is always open Adéle, and a friendly face to talk to, if you ever need it." With a smile he walked away leaving Adéle questioning everything.

* * *

 **Twenty Three Years Earlier**

Sarah Majette heard the front doorbell ring, setting down her cup of tea and making her way through the house she checked to see that Adéle was alright. Opening the door she greeted the woman standing there, a small elderly woman dressed in a white uniform.

"Hello, you must be Mrs Majette, I'm Sherri Kumm" The woman extended her hand and Sarah shook it softly.

"Please come in, Adéle is in the living room." As the two women walked through the house Sarah offered her a cup of tea.

"No thank you, I've had my caffeine fix for the day." She laughed, taking a seat on the sofa.

"Adéle dear, come over and meet Sherri, she's your Health Visitor." Sarah called to Adéle.

"Oh it's alright, let her sit and draw, she seems very content. We can discuss any concerns you may have first."

"I really don't have any, she's a very happy and content young girl." Sarah smiled, looking over at her Daughter.

"How old is she now?"

"She's just turned four."

"And you've seen no issues with her development, mentally or physically?"

"Oh no, she was up and about as soon as she could and she loves to read and we're currently working on the alphabet." Sarah stated proudly.

"Does she do this quite often?" Sherri asked, watching Adéle sit and colour.

"Do what?"

"Sit on her own quietly for this length of time?" Sarah looked over at her Daughter and pondered the question.

"Yes, why?" Sherri typed away on her PADD and then looked back up at Sarah.

"It's unusual for a child her age to sit so quietly for so long."

"Is it?"

"Has she had her hearing checked?"

"Yes."

"And her sight?"

"Yes." Sarah was becoming anxious. "What do you think the problem is?" She asked frustrated.

"Oh no, there's no problem but it may suggest some sort of ASD…" Sarah interrupted.

"ASD?"

"Autism spectrum disorders , they're characterised by social-interaction difficulties, communication challenges and a tendency to engage in repetitive behaviours."

"You're telling me Adéle is autistic?"

"No, you shouldn't be worried Mrs Majette…"

"I'm not worried Sherri! I just don't see what's wrong with Adéle wanting to sit and colour?! She's quiet, she always has been. She prefers her own company but she's smart as hell and we've never witnessed any behavioural challenges."

"I'm sorry Mrs Majette…"

"In any case, even if she were that would have no impact on her future!"

* * *

When Sarah had seen Sherri out she closed the door and leant against it, closing her eyes and heaving a sigh of relief. She walked over and knelt beside Adéle, looking at her pictures.

"That's a beautiful flower Adéle."

"It's an apple."

"Oh of course, I'm sorry. How could I have been so silly?!" Sarah laughed. "Darling? Do you want to play outside, perhaps Beth next door could play out too?" Sarah offered, watching her Daughter's reaction closely.

"No thank you mummy, I like drawing." Sarah kissed Adéle on the top of her head.

"Alright, I'll leave you to it. I love you my Darling."

"Love you too Mummy."

* * *

 ** _Thank you for reading, I hope I'm depicting these characters in a plausible and respectful way? Please leave a review, I'd really appreciate it. LLAP XOXO ;-)_**


	3. Chapter 3

"How long are they going to be posted there?" Adele asked Barbara as the two women sat at their stations.

"Six months I believe." The older woman replied.

"I can't believe they've gone, I mean Ishaq yeah I guess but Colin? How's he going to cope with the change in routine?" Adele said disbelievingly.

"He'll be fine, Adele you have to stop worrying, they're not your responsibility!" Barbara laughed but Adele could tell she was making a serious point and she also knew she was right. Looking after Colin had been a distraction to her own life.

"Well, I guess it's going to be quiet around here!" Adele smiled.

"Yeah well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about." Barbara stated cautiously.

"What? Barbs, what's going on? Don't tell me you're leaving too?" Barbara nodded her head slowly. "What?! Why?" Adele shouted.

"I'm resigning my commission, I have Grandchildren I never see Adele. I want to go home." Adele couldn't argue with her, she knew it was bound to happen sooner rather than later. Standing up she walked over and pulled Barbara into a tight hug.

"I'm going to miss you so much." Adele spluttered into her shoulder.

"Me too but this going to be good for you Adele, trust me."

"How?" Adele was holding back her tears.

"You need to make new friends Adele."

"No I don't." She was shaking her head furiously.

"Yes you do, can I be brutally honest?" Barbara asked, puling her away so she could look at the younger woman in the eyes, Adele nodded. "Since Jack died you've become more and more withdrawn, wasn't he the one who told you that his life was better because you were in it and that the same applied to his friends, his family?" At the mention of Jack Adele stopped moving and stared at Barbara.

"That was Jack, I can't do that by myself Barbs." Adele whispered back.

"Yes you can, or who knows?! Perhaps you'll meet someone else who…"

"I don't want to meet someone else!" Adele interrupted, her voice cracking with sadness. Barbara pulled her back into a hug.

"I love you Adele, you're a good friend. Jack wouldn't have wanted you to be alone." Adele allowed herself to fall into Barbara, it reminded her of being hugged by her Mother. Her Mother had always given the best hugs that made her feel safe from the world and everything in it.

"I know, but it's hard."

"Anything worth it is hard Adele, you know that."

"I'm going to miss you so much."

* * *

It had been two weeks since her colleagues and friends had left her, she had become accustomed to not speaking to a soul all day. When she arrived at her office at the start of her shift she would make herself a cup of tea, sit down at her station and bury herself in her work. Lunchtimes were spent either grabbing a quick sandwich or nothing at all, she had a meeting planned with Commander Spock and as she made her way to the Bridge she found herself actually looking forward to seeing someone.

As the turbolift door opened she hesitantly stepped onto the Bridge, she immediately noticed that the Captain's chair was empty and she straightaway felt disappointed. She hadn't seen Kirk in a long time and she missed him, especially now. Seeing that Commander Spock was at his station she cleared her mind and went about her work.

* * *

Adele was in full swing, she enjoyed her rare conversations with Commander Spock, he was one of the brightest minds on the ship.

"To construct a reasonable stellar model in a reasonable amount of time, I made several assumptions Commander. I assumed that the star is spherically symmetric, dynamically stable, self-gravitating fluid in local thermodynamic equilibrium."

"Your assumption is sound Doctor." Spock inclined his head slightly.

"First, spherical symmetry means one spatial co-ordinate. In this case, for a fluid, we can write down the equation of mass conservation." Adele was tapping away on the display screen as she spoke, bringing up equations and writing her own as she spoke. She was side-tracked however when the door opened and Kirk strode in, a large smile on his face appearing when he saw Adele.

"Doctor Majette, it's good to see you." He said warmly.

"Captain, it's good to see you too." Adele replied, smiling and trying desperately not to look at the floor.

"Can I help you Captain?" Spock asked in his characteristically monotone voice.

"Me?! No! Please, pretend like I'm not here." With that Kirk sat down and crossed his legs, giving Adele his full attention. She was suddenly nervous and when she turned back to the display screen it was if it was in a different language. Spock seemed to realise she had lost her train of thought.

"The equation of mass conservation Doctor?" He prompted.

"Oh yes, of course, so this just means that an infinitesimal spherical shell of thickness…" She carried on scribbling down her equations, "…to the total mass inside radius r…" Kirk watched on in astonishment, he'd genuinely missed her. When Spock had made him aware that she was now effectively the only member of her team he had grown concerned. He knew that she preferred her own company but social isolation was a dangerous thing, especially on a star ship.

"Now, if we regard our star as spherically symmetric and dynamically stable, we can kick out the velocity terms and time derivatives in Euler's equation. Supposing gravity is the only external body force, we end up at the equation of hydrostatic equilibrium." Adele stole a glance at Kirk, he was listening intently and had the most friendly, encouraging smile on his face that she couldn't help but smile back. "Remember, this follows from the conservation of momentum. To conserve energy, like mass, we say that the contribution to the total luminosity at r…" Somewhere along the way she had stopped being nervous and was actually enjoying presenting to the two men, It reminded her of when Jack would sit and listen to her practice. "r is the mass of the shell times the specific energy generation rate…" Kirk laughed when Adele prefixed a particularly complicated point with ' _To keep it simple_ '. She didn't seem to mind though, shooting him a quick look that made Kirk give her his best puppy dog face.

"It generally includes the energy generated by nuclear reactions rates, less the losses due to neutrinos streaming out in some reactions, plus, in some phases, the energy released by contraction." Adele continued.

"It can be shown that when a star contracts it heats up but loses energy overall?" Spock interjected.

"That's correct Commander, the energy generation depends on the density, temperature and chemical composition of the material. It isn't something we know from first principles. Instead, I've used tables of data taken either from detailed calculations and laboratory experiments." She hadn't been so full of energy for quite some time and she found that she was really enjoying herself. Bringing her presentation to a close she looked to Kirk who was sat casually, but he was listening to her attentively and his expression filled her with confidence. "But that's basically it! Given a composition profile, the structure equations tell you what the star looks like. Then, the reaction rates dictate how the composition changes, and the structure changes accordingly through the matter equations. I haven't gone into details like boundary conditions and whatnot Captain Kirk Sir, but if you're still interested, I can send you my notes, it should be a synch!"

"Thank you Doctor Majette, I'm sure it would be!" Kirk laughed, a look past between the pair and Adele felt those butterflies again.

"ALL HANDS BACE FOR IMPACT!"

Adele just about stayed on her feet but her ribs were given a good beating by her being flung into the table. Staring in horror at Kirk she pulled herself up and with a quick glance in her direction Kirk sped from the room.

"Doctor Majette, are you alright?" Spock asked, pulling himself from the floor.

"I'm fine Commander." With that Spock also left leaving Adele stood wondering what the hell was going on and also scared out of her mind. Standing there she found herself not knowing what to do, should she stay where she was? Go back to her station? When another hit to the ship flung her across the room she lay on the floor face down, cradling her head. Her vision was filled with spots of light and her head hurt, she gingerly picked herself up. Looking around the room at the scattered PADDs and furniture she then looked to the door, on the other side there was an entire ship of people fighting to survive and she was just stood there scared.

She decided to try and help. Staggering towards the door she was immediately overwhelmed by the amount of activity on the Bridge. Officers were shouting out orders and statistics, the viewing screen revealed the large war ship that was currently firing upon the Enterprise and there sat Kirk, in the middle of it all. Listening, ordering, contemplating, strategizing.

"Shields at seventy percent Captain!"

"Redirect energy Mister Sulu."

"Aye Captain."

"They're coming about Kaptin."

"Fire photon torpedoes on my mark."

"No response to our hails Captain."

"Keep trying Lieutenant Uhura."

"Yes Sir." Adele's eyes darted from one person to the next to the next.

"Hold on everyone!" Kirk shouted as Adele saw one of the ships fire. She felt like the hurtling ball of energy was heading directly for her when in fact it was deflected by the ship's shields, even so she spotted that a young Ensign was thrown from her station and had careened into one of the partitions. Adele ran towards her and knelt by her side, the large gash on the woman's leg caught her attention immediately and she clamped her hand over it apologising when the woman cried out in pain. Panicking, Adele looked up and locked eyes with Kirk, he seemed to focus on her for a second, he looked worried. Then his attention was drawn back to the view screen and he continued to shout out orders.

"Hold on, you're going to be alright." Adele spoke to the woman in front of her. Ripping her sleeve from her arm Adele wrapped it around the woman's leg, another hit to the ship meant that she had to throw herself over the Ensign to prevent her from being injured further.

"Fire when ready!" She heard Kirk shout.

"Direct hit Captain!

"Again!" The rumbling and jerking suddenly stopped.

"They're retreating Kaptin!" Chekov turned in his chair to speak to Kirk, Adele turned back to the woman who had gone a deathly pale.

"Help." She said, looking around the Bridge. Everybody was too busy doing their own thing to notice or hear her. "Help please." She repeated, her voice barely more than a whisper. She knew the woman needed medical attention as soon as possible or she would die. "HELP! I NEED HELP!" She shouted as loud as she could. Another Officer ran to her side, a medical kit in his hand. As if out of nowhere a team of Doctors and Nurses appeared and as each person received the help they needed Adele found herself being pushed out the way until she was stood to the side watching as people were taken away and others got to work. She didn't know how long she had been stood there, stock still with her hands shaking but all she could stare at was the infinitesimal display of stars on the viewing screen.

"Doctor Majette?" She felt like she was standing on a long beach and over the sound of the wind and crashing waves somebody was calling her name. "Adele?" A hand on her shoulder shook her out of her dream and she saw that Kirk was stood in front of her, concern in his eyes.

"Adele, come on. It's alright." She let Kirk lead her across the Bridge and to his ready room. Her hands wouldn't stop shaking. "Sit down." She did as she was told and when he handed her what looked to be a handkerchief she looked up at him confused. He silently brought her hand up to her forehead and pressed the material against it. The pain hit her suddenly and she winced in response.

"Thank you." She whispered. "What happened?"

"We were attacked." Kirk answered, sitting behind his desk and looking at his PADD.

"No shit." Closing her eyes she missed the look of surprise that appeared on Kirk's face. And then for some reason, one she never fully understood, she began laughing. Adele couldn't stop laughing. Kirk was on his feet and kneeling in front of her in an instant.

"Adele? What's wrong?" He asked, searching for any obvious causes of her delirium.

"I don't know? What the hell just happened? I don't know why I'm laughing, I'm so sorry Captain!"

"It's okay, it's probably the adrenaline." He carefully peeled the handkerchief away from her head. "Come on, let's get you to Sick Bay." Helping her stand he put a supporting arm around her waist when she faltered on her feet.

"You don't have to take me Sir, I'm sure…"

"I'm taking you Adele and call me Jim… remember?" The pair made their way through the corridors, at one point Adele's vision narrowed and she felt like she was going to pass out but she willed herself to carry on walking. There was no way she was fainting like a nineteenth century literary heroine into the arms of the Captain when there were plenty of Crewman and Officers in much worse conditions than she was. Directing her towards a bed Kirk helped her up.

"How you feeling?"

"I'm okay, really Jim you don't need to stay." She smiled gratefully at him.

"This is what friends do, besides, Spock'll have it all in hand and I'd only get in the way."

"Jim!" Adele jumped at the sound of McCoy shouting across the room. Watching the imposing CMO stomp over Adele suddenly felt very nervous, her hand unconsciously scrambling for the sheet on the bed. When it found Kirk's hand instead he squeezed hold of her in support. "What the hell is going on?!"

"Just your typical run in Bones, you know how it is." Kirk answered, McCoy looked to Adele who was looking down at the floor.

"The hell I do!" Without speaking McCoy pulled the handkerchief from Adele's forehead and set about healing the large cut. "Any feelings of nausea?" He asked Adele.

"No Sir." She answered timidly, McCoy noticed that the sleeve of her uniform was missing.

"Did you tie Ensign Higg's leg off?" He asked her, looking up at McCoy she nodded.

"I'm sorry Doctor…" She started.

"Woman would have died if it weren't for your quick thinking, good work Lieutenant." Kirk raised his eyebrows at McCoy, he was pretty sure it was the first time he'd ever heard his friend praise somebody. Adele simply nodded and peered at Kirk. When he gave her wink she smiled in response, eternally grateful that he was there and by her side. "Right, you're all set. Jim, get the hell out of my Med Bay! You're like a damned old penny you know that!" With that McCoy stormed away.

"Do you want me to help you get to your quarters?" Kirk asked, still concerned that she would go into shock at any moment.

"No, I'll be fine thank you." As Adele hopped off the bed her knees buckled but Kirk's ready arm caught her.

"Yeah, of course you will be, come on." Adele couldn't concentrate on anything other than the feel of Kirk's arm round her waist. When he shifted his hand at one point she jerked uncontrollably.

"You okay?" He asked in response.

"Yes, sorry. You just… that tickled." She admitted, Kirk laughed and teased her that if she didn't take it easy for the next day or two he'd order compulsory tickling as a punishment. Despite herself Adele couldn't help but laugh, keying in the code for her quarters the pair walked in together, Kirk finally and reluctantly letting go of Adele. As they both stood there, neither knew what to really say.

"How do you do it? How do you stay calm under so much pressure? With all those lives in your hands?" She asked.

"Wow Adele, thanks for sugar coating it!" Kirk laughed.

"I'm sorry." She peered down at the floor, her cheeks blushing pink.

"No I'm joking! Really? I don't know? Training, instinct, it's just something I have to do I guess." He answered, shrugging his shoulders and feeling strangely modest.

"You're a good Captain Jim, I would never be able to do what you do, neither would the majority of people on this ship. I guess that's why you're the Captain!" She laughed at her own ridiculous comment.

"I saw you on the Bridge when we were under attack, I saw you tie that woman's leg off and throw yourself over her when we were hit. You're a very brave woman Adele, you should give yourself more credit." Kirk closed the gap between them, watching her eyes dance between him and the floor, he could tell that she was uncomfortable with him giving her a compliment, "Right, go and get some rest. Are you sure you don't need anything?"

"I'm sure."

"Comm me if you need anything."

"I will."

"See you soon Adele."

"Thank you Jim."

"Anytime." Without thinking he gave a kiss on the cheek, it was sweet and tender and Kirk found the breath in his chest catch. When he left Adele's legs wouldn't move, she was overwhelmed with emotion. Strangely she felt invigorated and bold, as her head hit her pillow an hour later she was convinced it would take hours for her to fall asleep, all the thoughts and feelings from the day dancing around her head. In reality, the first blink of her eyes and she was fast asleep.

* * *

 _ **Thank you for the follows and favourites and especially the reviews! I'm really enjoying writing this! XOXO LLAP ;)**_


	4. Chapter 4

One night Adele had put down her knitting and picked up her PADD, she was going to make a list of things she wanted, no scrap that, needed to start doing on a daily and weekly basis. Looking at the blank screen she felt nervous, Jack's face came to mind and she smiled at the memory.

He'd proposed at home, he'd brought her breakfast in bed and there, amongst the croissants was the ring box. He'd explained that he knew she wouldn't have wanted a big song and dance about it and she'd told him it was perfect. Shaking her head she looked back at the PADD, typing away quickly, she looked at the first two words she had written down.

 _'Make friends.'_

She exhaled slowly, her fingers hovered over the screen.

 _'Have lunch in the mess.'_

She could do that.

 _'Ask Jim on a date.'_ As soon as the words stared back at her she deleted them.

 _'Ask Jim for a coffee.'_

She was going to work up to that one.

* * *

Eating lunch in the mess wasn't that bad, she took a PADD with her and read something whilst she ate. It was nice to hear people chatting and laughing around her and every now and again somebody would say ' _good morning_ ' or ' _how you doing?_ ' She hadn't replied yet but she was definitely going to try the next time it happened. Standing from her table she tucked her PADD under her arm and picked up her tray, making her way through the crowd she quietly asked to be excused when some Crewmen were blocking the aisle.

"Hey Gentleman! Come on, let the Lady through will ya?!" Adele recognised the accent, it was Doctor McCoy. She looked up at him quickly and gave him a small smile as a thank you. "How are you Doctor Majette?" She froze and glanced at him again, he was looking down at her ominously, or so she thought.

"Good, thank you." She answered, then, having a quick word with herself, replied nervously. "You?" She asked.

"Oh I'm fine, say, you haven't happened to see Jim have ya?" He knew they were friends? Of course he knew, Kirk had taken her to the med bay that day and maybe perhaps Jim had talked about her? "Doctor Majette?" She snapped out of it and realised she hadn't answered his question.

"Umm no, sorry."

"Well, if you see him let him know I'm looking for him alright?"

"Of course." Adele scurried away quickly, McCoy watching after her. He creased his brow in confusion, wondering how the likes of Jim Kirk had become friends with Adele Majette.

"Woman's as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin' chairs!" McCoy muttered to himself.

* * *

Sitting at her station later that day she crossed off _'Make friends'_ on her list, her conversation with Doctor McCoy being a sufficient enough accomplishment as far as she was concerned. The sound indicating somebody was at the door chimed and Adele looked up, suddenly on tenterhooks.

"Hey Adele, you busy?" Kirk grinned and leant against the wall of her office.

"Yes." Adele answered automatically, "I mean no! Sorry." She closed her eyes and took a breath. "How are you Jim?" She asked, making sure she looked at him when she spoke.

"Me, great! Shore leaves coming up," He said it as if Adele would be excited at the proposition. "You got plans?" He asked, coming to stand by her stool and picking things up off of her desk.

"Me? No." Kirk set the paperweight down and looked at her concerned.

"Nothing? Adele come on, please don't tell me you're staying on the ship for the entire week?!" Kirk asked.

"I'll be okay, I've nearly finished my jumper and…"

"Adele! Knitting? Really?" He placed his hands on her shoulders and twisted her stool so that she was facing him. "Come with me." He said smiling.

"Where?" Now she could only bring herself to look at the centre of his chest.

"Shore leave, a bunch of us are going to stay at the resort…"

"Bunch?" Kirk could tell she had already made up her mind.

"Before you say no, just think about it. We can go for a trek, relax, go out. Come on Adele, it'll be good. I promise I won't make you do anything or go anywhere you don't want to." Adele watched his eyes dance with excitement and she couldn't help but feel the excitement grow in her stomach too.

"Okay." She whispered.

"Okay?" Kirk looked at her shocked, he never in a million years thought she'd agree to go with him.

"Don't ask me again Jim, if I think about it for any longer I'll change my mind."

"Okay okay I won't I promise!" Kirk was grinning, he was genuinely excited. "You're going to have a great time and don't worry, I'll be with you." Adele pulled a face.

"That's what I'm worried about." She said grimacing, Kirk barked in response, enjoying this side of her character.

"Pack your bag Doctor Majette!" Adele just gulped.

* * *

Adele was quiet the entire shuttle journey, staring out the window she concentrated on the stars that passed by them. She could hear Kirk talking with McCoy, Uhura and Spock. Christine Chapel kept reaching through the gap of the seats and squeezing her shoulder reassuringly, her nervousness had returned and then some. She'd spoke to McCoy quite a few times, Spock was her Commanding Officer and always would be in her eyes so she hadn't said a peep to him and she'd never spoken to Uhura before. They'd all been very warm and welcoming but Adele found herself nodding mutely and staring at the floor by in large.

"Hey? Are you okay?" Kirk turned and quietly asked her.

"I don't think I can do this Jim." She whispered back to him, when he saw that she looked genuinely upset he squeezed her hand.

"You'll be fine, you look nice by the way." Adele looked down at her plain trousers with its attached bib front, she looked like a child. Breathing heavily she gave him a tight smile and turned back to the window. She kept repeating to herself over and over again that what she was doing was good for her, the right thing to do. She didn't want to disappoint Jim either, he'd been excessively nice to her so she felt like she owed him at least her trying to have a good time with him and his friends.

The group travelled through the busy streets, stopping to purchase small trinkets from the stalls dotted on the street corners. Adele noticed that, while Kirk walked by her side McCoy had come to stand behind her. She appreciated the gesture, she supposed that a man like Doctor McCoy would do the same for anybody but still, it made her feel like she was a burden.

Kirk walked Adele to her room and then told her what time they were all meeting for dinner and drinks, after she'd closed the door behind her she looked around the brightly lit room, with its tropical prints and plush bedding. She couldn't help but smile, it was lovely. Walking into the bathroom she immediately spotted the sunken bath and jar of soaking salts on the side. Turning the taps on she grinned, she was going to enjoy her time alone as much as she could. Maybe she could just make an excuse and not go out later? Thinking back to the list she'd made on her PADD Adele mentally chastised herself, that's not what friends do.

* * *

Dinner had been lovely Adele had to admit it, everybody had been so much fun. She had listened keenly to their stories and to their jokes, she even plucked up the courage to speak to Commander Spock. Sitting back and sipping her wine she didn't mind the fact that Kirk and McCoy were shouting over the table at one another and Uhura and Christine were laughing to the point of tears, she was enjoying herself. Even if she hadn't uttered more than ten words the whole evening.

Kirk had kept checking on her, making sure she was alright. When he had knocked on her door to take her down to dinner he had been struck at how his heart had missed a beat when he saw her. She had left her hair down so that it billowed around her shoulders and he recognised the black dress she was wearing from his Birthday party. Her eyes still caught him off guard every time, the paleness stark against her brunette hair and olive skin. At dinner she had kept her head down, busying herself with rearranging the cutlery in front of her. When Uhura had asked her a question, something about where she had grown up he had glanced at her face. Looking like a deer in headlights he had taken hold of her hand under the table. A sense of calm came over him whenever he was around her, he didn't worry about what anybody thought or said, all he wanted was to see her smile at one of his jokes or listen to her whisper a sarcastic quip only he heard.

Kirk realised he cared for her, more than he initially bargained for.

"Let's go to a club!" Uhura announced to rapturous applause from Christine. A ferocious conversation ensued, arguments for and against expertly debated. "We're going and that's final!" Uhura declared.

"I guess we're going to a club." Kirk whispered to Adele, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth.

"Jim, I can't. I don't want to go to a club." Adele shook her head quickly.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes." Adele's face told another story.

"I tell you what, as soon as we get there if you say the word we'll leave." Kirk was looking at her so expectantly Adele couldn't bring herself to say no.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Don't ask me again Jim!"

* * *

Once inside the club it was like walking on the Northern Lights; beneath the dry-ice smoke swirled an array of blues, acid greens, hot pinks and gold. Adele looked over at the dance floor, she couldn't see the actual floor, it was wall to wall with people dancing to the club music.

"Dance with me?" Kirk shouted into her ear, Adele turned to him in horror and shook her head. "Come on Adele! I'll look after you, I promise you'll love it." The music being so loud Kirk had put his lips next to Adele's ear, when they briefly grazed her earlobe a bolt of electricity ran through her. She allowed him to guide her towards the dance floor, holding her hand so tight it hurt. There was no room for any more people but somehow when Jim and Adele moved into the space it magically appeared. The music was thumping but Adele just froze, not wanting to move and for the ground to just swallow her up there and then. When Jim took hold of her hands, and instead of dancing like everybody else, began twisting, turning and holding her hands in the air she found herself grinning at him, she imagined they looked like idiots but she genuinely didn't care. Inside she was happy, happy and more alive than she had felt in a very long time. She let her body go free and Kirk just stood there, protecting her and letting her, laughing and smiling at her expression of absolute joy.

When they were called over by Uhura and the rest of their group they made their way to them, sitting and catching their breath Adele took a minute to take it all in. She was still feeling incredibly anxious but for that brief moment she had truly enjoyed herself, not worrying whether or not somebody would bump into her or she would bump into them. She hadn't worried that she was going to have to speak to somebody.

"Spock, let's go dance." Uhura had grabbed Spock by the collar and was leading him away, Christine obviously liked the idea and did the same to McCoy.

"Enjoy yourselves guys!" Kirk shouted after them, Adele couldn't help but laugh at the look of pure horror that crossed McCoy's face as he was led away. "Do you want a drink?" Kirk asked Adele.

"What?" She couldn't hear a word he was saying.

"Do you want a drink?!" Kirk shouted again, Adele just shook her head at him, not being able to hear a word. Kirk scooted closer to her and shouted in her ear, Adele turned to answer him before he had pulled away. They were millimetres apart and neither could move but when she saw Kirk look at her lips and lick his own she pulled back sharply.

Kirk felt like an idiot, what was he thinking?! Adele wasn't some random woman in a club he could make his moves on and then forget about the next day, what was he thinking?! He watched her stare at her hands in her lap, he couldn't tell her he was sorry, not only because it was so loud but because he actually wasn't. Instead he stood up and watched as she looked up at him anxiously, obviously wondering where he was going. He mimed to her that he was going to go get them both a drink, she nodded in response.

Adele's head was spinning, was Kirk about to kiss her? Maybe he had just been taken aback like her at their close proximity? But now that she was sat there, on her own, she really couldn't care less what had just happened because she was sat there in a club on her own!

"Hey there!" Adele's heart sank, as soon as she heard the words and quickly glanced up to see a man standing in front of her table with a the biggest smarmy grin she'd ever seen she froze. It didn't take her a second to be up and out of her seat, making her way out of the club as quickly as humanly possible.

* * *

Kirk made his way back to the table, as soon as he saw a strange man sat at their table he spun around panicked.

"Where is she?!" He shouted at the man.

"I don't know? She just bolted as soon as I spoke to her." He wanted to pummel the man into the ground but he had enough about him to know that that wasn't his priority right now. Quickly scanning the faces of the people around him, he couldn't see her anywhere; it would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Taking a couple of breaths he thought for a second, where would she go? Making his way to the exit he walked out and into the night air. People were milling around, laughing and singing. He started walking back towards the resort, occasionally looking behind him and down the narrow streets that split off from the main road. He didn't see her and he wondered as he climbed the steps of the resort if he had made the right choice. Should he have stayed where he was? Asked the others to help? He already knew though, that Adele Majette wasn't the type to do anything reckless and would simply have decided to leave and come back. He found himself outside of her room anyway, knocking lightly he prayed she was in. There was no answer so he knocked again, whispering her name thought the door. He heard footsteps and finally let go of the air that had been stuck in his lungs, now he knew that she was there he instinctively wanted to just leave. Having to see her was maybe too much right then and there? He felt angry, upset, guilty! Boy did he feel guilty, he'd left her, someone who he knew hated being in crowds and he left her, because he'd made a move and she's pulled away? Why had he really walked away? Or was it all simply because he was just an insensitive arsehole?

The door creaked open and Kirk glanced through the gap, a set of teary red eyes looked back at him.

"I am so sorry Adele." Kirk watched her swipe at her eyes indignantly, he could tell that she was trying to get a control of herself. She leant her forehead against the doorframe and closed her eyes.

"Don't apologise Jim." Her now icy eyes had lost their brilliant blue sparkle.

"Can I come in?" He asked, suddenly desperately wanting to make everything alright.

"I don't think that's a good idea…" She began.

"Please Adele." She looked up at him for a second and then nodded, opening the door so that he could walk past her. Once inside Kirk stood still, not knowing where to place himself. He spotted her knitting on the bed and went over and picked it up, feeling the wool in his hands reminded him of the scarf she had made him for his Birthday. He fumbled the ball of wool and one of the needles, letting the casted on wool spiral off and begin to unwind.

"Shit!" Kirk tried desperately to stop it from unwinding more but it seemed every time he moved his hands more of the jumper disappeared.

"Just put it down!" Adele shouted at him, walking over and pulling it from his hands. He'd never heard her shout before, the pair stared at the unravelled pile of wool unmoving. Kirk knew she wasn't going to say anything so he slowly held out his hand towards her.

"I'm sorry Adele." He repeated his apology.

"I don't like…" She started, shaking her head.

"I know." Kirk nodded his head as he tried to take her hand.

"And I don't like…" Adele pulled her arms up to her chest, crossing them and tucking her hands under her arms.

"I know Adele." He repeated.

"It's just not for me." She looked at him pleadingly.

"I know."

"I want us to be friends but I can't…"

"I know, I get it…"

"Do you?!" She interrupted him, raising her voice and feeling tears prickle her eyes again.

"I do now." Kirk gently pulled her into a hug and Adele found herself not being able to resist bringing her arms up and hugging him back.

"I'm going to stay here tomorrow." She muttered into his chest, Kirk kissed the top of her head.

"Do you want company?" Adele pulled back and looked up at him, he was saying it as if he was joking but she knew that, if she asked him to, he would stay with her.

"No thank you." She answered.

"Alright, well… are we alright?" She found it very endearing that he was checking with her again.

"Yes Jim, we're okay. It was just a… misunderstanding." Adele smiled at him warmly and she saw that he visibly relaxed as a result.

"Well, goodnight Adele." Kirk walked back towards the door, "I had a good night, well, up to…" He was struggling for the right words.

"Me too Jim." Adele said. "I really did." She added when he looked at her sceptically. "Have a nice day tomorrow."

"You too Adele."

* * *

 _ **I hope you're still enjoying this story?! LLAP ;-) XOXO**_


	5. Chapter 5

Kirk gulped the water from his canteen as he waited for McCoy to catch him up, the sun was beating down and the rucksack on his back was feeling heavier and heavier. When he had got back to his room the night before he'd lay on his bed for a good hour staring at the ceiling. He had felt unnerved after leaving Adele in her room and nothing really made him feel like that.

He watched McCoy sidle up to him and do the same, taking his canteen from his bag and all but chugging the entire contents.

"How far?" McCoy asked breathless.

"Another twenty six kilometres." Kirk answered, laughing when he heard the string of expletives pour from his friend. "Come on, we'll be there by dinner." Putting their canteens away they carried on up the path.

"Where did you disappear to last night?" McCoy asked the back of Kirk's head, Kirk knew he already knew the answer.

"I went to check on Adele." Kirk answered plainly, he didn't hide anything from McCoy.

"Check on?" Kirk stopped and turned round to face McCoy.

"I messed up."

"There's a surprise!" McCoy scoffed.

"It wasn't like that Bones, I… promised her I'd stay with her, and I didn't. She bolted." McCoy didn't pretend to understand everything that Kirk was talking about but he'd met Adele and knew enough of her character to fill in the blanks. "You think it's weird don't you? Us being friends?" Kirk asked.

"On the contrary Jim, it makes sense. You're a born extrovert, Psychologists have long proposed that Extroverts are good mentors of Introverts."

"I'm not her mentor Bones, she's a good woman, I like her." McCoy nodded his head in agreement.

"That she is, the way you're talking though, are you sure ' _your_ ' feelings are purely platonic?" Kirk gave him a sideways glare, a warning to not push his current line of questioning any further.

"I care for her." He chose his words carefully.

"Because you think she needs you to protect her?"

"No!" Kirk answered sharply.

"Then why?"

"Because she makes me… calm, there's no expectation." The pair carried on up the hill, after a while Kirk stopped and ran his hands over his face and through his hair.

"What is it?"

"I'm missing her today."

"Why didn't she come out on the hike?" McCoy asked.

"Because I pushed it last night, it was too much. She's spending the day by herself."

"That's probably for the best, anyway I'm going to have to take a rain check tomorrow Jim." Kirk raised his eyebrows at McCoy.

"You got a better offer?" Kirk joked.

"A Gentleman never tells."

"Should I go see her?" Kirk answered, actually unsure as to what to do.

"Yeah why not?! Take her a picnic or something?! Hell, damned if I know!" McCoy waved him off and carried on.

"Well, aren't you a romantic Bones!" Kirk teased.

"Just friends huh? Yeah, whatever you say Jim!" The smile on Kirk's face disappeared. "You are sugar in her hand Jim Kirk."

* * *

Fixing the buckles on her bib front Adele checked her appearance in the mirror, the trousers billowed around her small frame and the arms of her top were stretched from her pulling them down all the time. She pulled her hair up and twisted it so that it sat atop of her head, turning her head from left to right she took in her appearance. Her features were too severe to be described as pretty, she'd never minded her eyes she supposed. Letting her hair plop back down she picked up her bag and went to leave, she was going to walk round the town, perhaps sit and have a drink at one of the nice cafes she'd seen when she'd arrived? She smiled as she closed the door behind her, it was going to be a good day.

* * *

The streets were busy but Adele found it easy to walk amongst the crowds, stalls were selling trinkets and ' _authentic_ ' antiques. When one of the vendors approached her with a scarf, wrapping it around her neck before she could duck her head Adele shook her head politely.

"No thank you." She said respectfully, but the woman just smiled and took her by the hand, pulling her into the small shop. Adele kept looking at the ground, hoping the old lady would let go of her hand and realise she wasn't going to make a sale. When she felt a frail finger tuck under her chin and lift her head up Adele looked at her bashfully.

"Beautiful." The old lady whispered, Adele knew she was being swindled, the old lady probably pulled the same trick on every woman that walked by but she couldn't help but feel complimented.

"Thank you." Adele smiled sweetly and not having the heart to just leave, began sifting through the garments on offer.

"This." The old lady was holding up a dress, the colour of a sunset. The burnt oranges and reds swirled over the silk, flowing fabric.

"No!" Adele laughed, "No thank you." Shaking her head she picked up a small scarf, hoping she could get away with just buying the small shawl.

"Yes, beautiful, you try." The old lady had her by the hand again and was leading her to the back of the shop, effectively pushing her into the small changing room she passed the dress to Adele and nodded, closing the curtain behind her. Adele stood and stared at the dress, it really was beautiful with its plunging hem and even more plunging neckline. She could never wear something like that, regardless she found herself unbuckling her braces and pulling her top over her head. Slipping the silky fabric over her heard and down her body Adele stared at herself in the mirror. She felt like she wasn't seeing herself, she was looking at another woman. Every curve and angle of her body could be seen through the material, it was indecent.

The old lady watched as Adele pulled the curtain open and walked over to her, placing the dress on the counter Adele smiled.

"I'll take it."

* * *

The dress lay on her bed, the long string thin straps pooling together and the skirt pooling on the floor. She didn't regret buying it, even if it was going to be tucked into a drawer for the next ten years and then finally just thrown away. Noticing her discarded knitting that was still unravelled she decided that she was going to settle in for the rest of the afternoon and enjoy a nice glass of wine and finally finish her jumper.

* * *

Kirk knocked at Adele's door, the basket in his right hand was laden with food and the blanket tucked under his left arm was rolled up tightly.

"Who is it?" He heard her ask from the other side of the door.

"It's me, it's Jim." He creased his brow in confusion when the door didn't open. "Adele?" He asked, wondering what was taking so long.

"Just a minute!"

"Be quick, this basket is heavy!" He answered, the door opened a fraction and he couldn't help but laugh when just a pair of eyes peered back at him cautiously. "Can I come in?" He asked bemused.

"Umm…no…"

"No?" Kirk's face fell.

"I mean…I'm sorry I'm busy." Adele looked away from him, seeing the disappointment on his face hurt.

"I thought maybe we could have a picnic?" Kirk lifted the basket in his hand so that she could see it.

"Oh? That's very kind, I was planning on staying here and…" Adele was struggling for a good excuse and when she was nervous her mind just seemed to stop working.

"Come on Adele, have lunch with me? Do you have a balcony, we could have it here?" Kirk was determined, looking back up at him Adele took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, yes of course," She stood behind the door and opened it slowly, "please come in." Kirk walked in and went straight to the balcony, throwing the blanket on the floor and setting the basket down on the table.

"How's your day going?" She heard him shout through the French doors.

"Good, thank you." She shouted back, her heart pounding out of her chest.

"You been anywhere?" He was still pulling plates and napkins out of the basket.

"I went shopping." Adele answered, edging towards her bathroom. The feeling finally came back to her legs and she began striding towards the bathroom door.

"Did you buy anything nice?" Adele spun round to see that Kirk was now inside, his jaw on the floor. She just stared at him.

"I bought a dress." She whispered looking to the floor.

"I can see that." Kirk's voice was laced with something she couldn't quite figure out. "You look beautiful Adele." He said, his voice low. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her, it was the only thought in his mind. He saw how visibly self-conscious she was and the last thing he wanted to do was compound the issue by trying to make a move.

"I'm just going to… wash up." Adele muttered before dashing into the bathroom.

When she returned Kirk was sat outside, pouring two glasses of wine. Looking up he saw that she changed into her regular clothes and it brought a smile to his face. However much she had knocked the wind from him in ' _that_ ' dress he couldn't help finding her insanely attractive in her simple attire. Perhaps it was due to the fact that she looked more comfortable in herself, it was what made her, her. Handing her a glass she sat down beside him on the blanket.

"Thank you Jim." She said as she took hold of the glass he was offering her. "This is lovely."

"It is isn't it?" He joked, "I tried this with Bones once but he wasn't all that impressed." He deadpanned. Adele laughed loudly, finding the idea of the two men picnicking together highly amusing.

"Jack used to do this." She commented absentmindedly but instantly regretted mentioning his name upon seeing the confused look on Kirk's face. She didn't like to talk about him, and she wasn't sure whether her and Kirk had the sort of friendship where they would share aspects of their life like that?

"Jack?" Kirk asked apprehensively, suddenly realising he didn't know much about the woman sitting next to him. Adele decided to be truthful.

"Jack was my fiancé." She looked up at him quickly, if he was thinking anything he was hiding it well. "He passed away." Taking a drink of her wine she crossed and uncrossed her legs nervously.

"I'm sorry to hear that Adele." She didn't answer, but appreciated the compassion all the same.

"It was a long time ago." Picking up one of the sandwiches she took a big bite. "This is good." Kirk laughed at her muffled voice.

"Thanks." The pair sat for a while, eating food and listening to the sounds from the street down below. "Uhura invited us all out for drinks later, do you want to come?" Adele smiled tightly.

"No thank you." She answered shoving another piece of sandwich in her mouth.

"You know, maybe if you push yourself a little, put yourself in more social situations you might find it gets easier?" Kirk suggested, Adele just laughed sadly. "What? What is it?"

"Do you know how many times I've been told that in my life?" She looked up at him, clearly disappointed.

"Well, there may be some truth to it then?" Kirk shifted so that he was facing her.

"I appreciate the suggestion Jim, I really do. It's just not something I enjoy." Adele tried to keep the emotions that were welling up inside her under control.

"All I'm saying is if you can overcome your shyness…"

"I'm not shy." Adele interrupted, rather angrily. Kirk was taken aback by her response and became angry himself.

"Adele, I don't understand why you're getting so upset…"

"No you don't do you! You're basically telling me to 'just get over it' are you?" Adele's cheeks had flushed red and she was frantically picking at the label on the wine bottle.

"Not in those words…" Kirk's brow was creased in confusion, he didn't know what he'd said to upset her this much.

"I am sick and tired of being told 'to get over it'!" She was shouting, she was shouting and she couldn't help it. "I have felt pressure to act more extroverted my entire life. It's like people know what the definition of introversion is, but they still want introverts to act like extroverts!"

"Adele please, that's not what I was saying." Kirk could see that he'd really upset her, she wasn't looking at him and he could see the tears burning at her eyes.

"Teachers use to tell me to speak up in class, friends would audibly sigh and roll their eyes, just like you did Jim when I would say I wanted to stay in. And then when I was older colleagues would marvel at the fact that I liked eating lunch alone, at my desk!" She stood up, no longer feeling comfortable with her close proximity to Kirk. He did the same, his arms crossing and watching her closely. "You think I'd be happier if I acted more extroverted right?! So you try to 'fix' me by encouraging me to perk up, speak up, and go out more! But that's not the answer Jim."

"So what? I just have to keep quiet around you, not try and help? Not be your friend?" Kirk waved his hands in front of him angrily.

"I don't need to be coddled or tiptoed around…"

"It doesn't sound like it!" Kirk remarked bitterly which made Adele suck in a breath. "Don't forget that you were the one who bailed and I was the one who came after you to make sure you were alright!" Kirk's volume had risen also and Adele couldn't help but flinch in response.

"You don't realise that the offhand things you say or do to me can end up making me feel self-conscious. You're basically telling me there's something wrong with me!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes! You are!" Adele shouted back at him. "How would you like it if I told you you talked too much, that would be embarrassing no?" Kirk took a deep breath and tried to gather his thoughts.

"All I'm saying Adele, is that maybe it would be good for you to get out of your head a little bit." Adele nearly screamed, flinging her arms up in the air she swore.

"Thinking is what I do best! Never tell me not to think Jim! My brain is my greatest asset and the most effective tool in my arsenal, I can focus alone for long periods of time, imagine many outcomes for any given scenario, and mull things over until I understand them deeply. You'd tell Commander Spock to get out of his head?!"

"No!"

"But you're telling me to! Our brains are wired differently Jim, if you don't like me fine, I'm sorry. I guess we're not cut out to be friends." That hurt her the most, it hadn't been the first time she had ended up having this conversation in her life. But this time, given that it was Jim Kirk and however much it didn't even make sense to her, she really did like him and it hurt to say it. She could see that it had hurt him also, but she couldn't change how he felt, she could only explain it to him and hope that he got it.

"I guess not." Kirk said lowering his own head, Adele spluttered, the tears springing from her eyes. Before she could say anything Kirk cleared his throat and ran his hands through his hair exasperated. "I should go." With that he walked passed her and when she heard the door close she let the tears run freely. Looking down at the picnic blanket with the half eaten food she screamed, storming into her room and into the bathroom she saw the red and orange dress hung over the side of the bath. When he had looked at her, when she had been wearing that dress and he had looked at her, she felt like the centre of the universe. Picking it up she scrunched it up in her hands, bringing it to her face she again screamed, letting the fabric muffle the sound and then finally, she pulled at the fabric until she heard it rip leaving the frayed silk in a pile on the floor.

* * *

McCoy found Kirk at the bar, clearly drunk out of his mind.

"Jim?" He asked cautiously as he took the stool next to his friend, he watched as Kirk looked up at him bleary eyed and then went right back to his drink. "Everything okay?" He asked tentatively.

"Everything's great Bones." Kirk said spitefully. McCoy caught the Bartenders attention and silently mouthed his order.

"You want to tell me what happened?"

"No."

"Can I guess?"

"Fill your boots Bones." Now McCoy knew it really was bad.

"How's Adele?" He asked, kind of already knowing the answer. Kirk laughed bitterly and shook his head.

"How the hell should I know?" He said.

"Didn't you see her?"

"Yep."

"And? I take it it didn't go well?" McCoy asked cautiously.

"Well hell Bones, can't get anything by you can they?" McCoy was losing his patience, taking his own drink he took a long swig but before he could say anything else Kirk stood up swaying.

"I'm going to bed." He stated and without even looking in McCoy's direction walked away.

"Damned rash sonofabitch…" McCoy muttered under his breath, settling in himself for the night.

* * *

On the shuttle back to the Enterprise Adele did nothing but look at her hands in her lap, she hadn't spoken to Kirk or anybody else for that matter. She didn't know whether or not he was ignoring her, she hadn't checked. But he certainly hadn't come over and talk to her, which she couldn't really blame him for. She had taken out on him twenty odd years' worth of frustration, he had been trying to be a friend and it was unfair of him to have put him up on a pedestal where he wasn't allowed to make mistakes. When they had docked and she was walking from the shuttle she heard McCoy call out her name. Stopping and turning Adele peered up at him nervously.

"Yes Doctor McCoy?" She asked, looking to the floor.

"Doctor Majette, are you alright?" She had no idea how to respond.

"I'm fine Doctor McCoy." She whispered in response feeling like she was under scrutiny.

"Look, he's a stupid sonofabitch sometimes but he's a good friend. He's the best friend I've ever had and I know that, well, I know that he damned well cares for you. He just has a funny way of showing it." Adele looked at him and gave him a tight smile.

"Thank you Doctor McCoy." With a curt nod he carried on his way leaving Adele feeling even more confused and frustrated. Speaking of the devil Kirk walked passed her a moment later and, taking a deep breath Adele shouted after him.

"Captain." Her voice was too quiet, given the amount of activity around them. "Captain Kirk." She said again, this time a little louder. He was chatting with Uhura and laughing and smiling. "Jim!" The corridor stopped and all eyes turned to look at the very embarrassed looking Adele. Kirk looked shocked but amused, saying something to Uhura he began walking over to her. Adele willed herself to look him in the eye.

"Adele?" He asked, no sign of anger evident in his voice and face.

"Jim I'm sorry." She said, pleading he wouldn't hold it against her.

"It's me who should be sorry Adele."

"Accept my apology, please." She asked, Kirk brought his hand towards her and took it, squeezing comfortingly.

"I accept your apology, only if you accept mine?" Adele smiled and heaved a sigh of relief.

"Okay." When Kirk went to pull his hand back though Adele found that she didn't want to let go and in fact, didn't. Kirk laughed and looked at her confused.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Go out with me." Adele blurted.

"What?" Kirk wasn't sure if he'd misheard.

"Will you go out with me?" She asked again, this time slower and quieter.

"You're asking me out Adele?" Kirk couldn't quite work out what was going on, Adele was staring at him and he could see that her heart was beating a million miles a minute.

"Yes." She answered finally.

"Okay." Kirk said taking hold of her other hand.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, I said okay Adele. Yes I will go out with you." Kirk closed the gap between them. "You're amazing you know that." He whispered, watching her lips quiver.

"Yeah?" Adele couldn't look at anything other than his lips.

"I think so. So, where do you want to go?" He asked putting his arm round her waist.

"I hadn't thought that far ahead." She answered awkwardly and then laughing Adele watched as Kirk brought his lips to hers and it was if that supernova was inside her. She was all stars.

* * *

 _ **Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed this! LLAP ;-) XOXO**_


End file.
